A relationship is simply the connection between two or more people or things and how these things interact with each other. Our first experience of relationships tends to come from our family of origin; later expanding to social groups, intimate partners, and work relationships among others. We tend to have many types of relationships in our lifetime. It’s not uncommon to experience changes in our relationships as our own needs and interests change. So what happens when things go pear-shaped?
Common relationship problems
There are lots of reasons why relationships breakdown or go through challenges. At times things external to us, such as work and financial pressures or the influence of others, can impact on our relationships. At other times it’s the interaction itself that isn’t quite working anymore or something about us has changed. Here’s some common problems within relationships.
- Poor communication
- Frequent conflict and arguments
- Unmet needs
- Abusive behaviours by one person to another.
- Dependancy
- Controlling behaviours
- Loss of trust
- Infidelity
- Differing beliefs or values
Common impacts of relationship problems
If you are struggling with relationships in your life, it can often have an impact beyond the relationship itself. Difficulties with relationships can result in some of the following:
- Experience of loss
- Loneliness
- Anger
- Anxiety
- Isolation
- Depression
- Problems establishing relationships
- Lack of trust of others
- Low self-esteem
Tips and strategies
If you are feeling unsafe in a relationship, seek support from others. If there is a risk of any type of harm reach out for professional assistance. Your first contact might even be your doctor or the police. If you are feeling safe and want to improve your relationship you could try the following:
- Try to manage your own stress by exercising, eating well, and having time for yourself.
- Try to talk with the other person about your concerns
- Deal with any external pressures together.
- Don’t jump to conclusions. Instead try to be open and understand each other’s point of view.
- Engage in activities that you usually enjoy doing together.
- Encourage each other in your work and other activities that are important to you.
- Try to remain calm and respectful. If the argument is heated, take some time out and regroup when emotions are less intense.
When can a Psychologist help?
When you feel stuck with a relationship or feel that something isn’t working well, you might want some support and guidance from a third party. Psychologists can help you work out strategies for improving the relationship and your own wellbeing as well as potentially deal with issues that might be underlying. You don’t have to go to couples counselling to make changes. Some people seek individual support to work through the issues they are having with relationships and the secondary impact. At Inner Space we primarily see individuals seeking exactly this. Our team is here to help when you need a bit of extra support in building healthy connections. You can book online here, give us a call on (02) 4625 3339 or email us at admin@innerspacepsych.com.au.